Observations from Vitalik's home

Empirical observations meet satire

“Vitalik, when you said that you were surprising me with a MANSION for our engagement, I thought you were joking!” cried the beautiful soon-to-be Ms. Buterin.

The genius computer scientist smiled as he proudly opened the door for the love of his life. From the outside, their new mansion looked absolutely stunning. It was as tall as Indian billionaire Mukesh Ambani’s “Antilia”, as large in area as Ryan Reynolds’ forehead, and as well-designed as some of the most beautiful pieces of architecture in the world:

Vitalik held the door open with a huge grin on his face. He could not wait to show around the soon-to-be Ms. Buterin — the interior, in his humble opinion, was even more impressive than the carefully designed exterior.

As the two of them entered the grand mansion, it was immediately obvious that Vitalik had taken a central role in designing the place. The book shelves looked like Merkle Trees, the cabinets like blockchains, and the color scheme boasted rich blues and yellows screaming “Ethereum!”. By all measures, this home was iconic and beautiful.

But for some odd reason, it was also extremely warm. As Vitalik’s fiance wiped the sweat off her forehead, she looked around for a fan or an air-conditioner. She couldn’t find any. Had they been hidden intelligently to complement the design?

She turned to Vitalik and asked: “Love, could we turn on the air-conditioning? It’s getting really warm in here.”

Vitalik laughed, and his fiance responded with a puzzled look. He cleared his throat:

“Honey, we don’t have air-con in this house. It’s energy-intensive… terribly inefficient! You can achieve the same thing with this hand fan,” he said, as he passed her an Ethereum-themed hand fan.

“Oh, come on. Where’s the remote?” asked his fiance, laughing. Vitalik was really funny and charming at times, but come on, this was lame!

Vitalik shook his head.

“Air-conditioning uses even more electricity than Bitcoin, dear. Like twenty times more. I’m telling you the truth.”

His fiance wiped more sweat off her forehead.

“You’re not kidding?”

Vitalik nodded.

“Ceiling fans?”

“Nope.”

“Bath tubs?”

“Nope.”

“Television?”

“We have an iPad.”

His fiance laughed sarcastically, wiping more sweat off her forehead.

“Well, I guess I’ll just rely on my mammalian body to adapt to the heat with time!” said his fiance sarcastically.

Vitalik grinned: “Exactly. I knew you’d understand!”

His fiance grabbed the hand fan from Vitalik (a little aggressively) and continued walking. She walked into the living room, where an iPad mini had been mounted in place of a TV. She walked into the bathroom and it didn’t have a bath tub. And finally, she reached the balcony. The breeze was light, but it made her feel better.

She sighed.

“Whatever, Vitalik. The view makes up for it,” she said quietly, peering downwards.

Vitalik nodded with a grin in response.

P.S. I’m a fan of Vitalik and truly believe that POS is interesting . This is just satire criticizing one specific pro-POS argument. You can check out a more in-depth examination here. Feedback is always welcome. Cheers!

You can find me on Twitter @ramwithouthorns.