The Nakamotos versus the Three Byzantine Armies
A fictitious rendition of the Byzantine Generals' Problem
This is a story about Bitcoin and the Byzantine Generals’ Problem. It’s part one of a two-part series. Part two, focused on theory and commentary, will be coming soon.
Thanks for being here, and give this piece a like if you enjoy it!
P.S. This is satire.
There are four tribes in this story, and they’re all far away from one another geographically. Three of them have decided to come together to attack their common enemy: the Nakamotos. This story will document their attempt.
Live from the Nakamoto Fortress
“Lawrence, did you hear the news? The Roubinis, Stiglitzs, and Mungers want to attack us. They’re forming an alliance!” I cried.
Lawrence Lepard turned to me, as calm as ever.
“Dude, they’re all about transitory. Inflation was transitory, the recession is transitory, and soon enough, wanting to attack will be transitory. Take a chill pill,” he replied.
I shook my head.
“We should send someone out in case,” I said sternly.
Lawrence smiled.
“It won’t make a difference, but if it makes you feel better, sure,” he said. With a wave, he summoned a fellow Nakamoto.
“Intercept them,” said Lawrence, facing the Nakamoto who’d rushed into the room.
Peter Schiff nodded.
Live from the Roubinis
The soldier rode his horse up to Nouriel Roubini, who silently knelt next to a fallen one. Roubini’s fists were clenched and anger welled up inside of him.
But now, having received letters from the Stiglitzs and Mungers about forming an alliance, he felt hope budding in his heart.
There was just one problem. He’d gotten letters from the Stiglitzs and Mungers, and they all conveyed conflicting instructions. For example, there were two letters signed under the Stiglitizs, and each conveyed a different message. One said to attack at 1600hrs on the 8th of August, whereas the other said to attack at 1000hrs on the 10th.
Roubini scratched his head. He suspected that the Nakamotos had sent one of their own to intercept an ally messenger.
Which was he supposed to believe? He couldn’t verify the messages because the other two tribes were far away. At most, he could send another messenger, but another interception would ruin it all.
So he decided to do his typical prediction ritual — an “inky pinky ponky”.
“Inky pinky ponky. Father had a donkey, donkey died, father cried, inky pinky ponky.”
His hand rested on the letter reading 1000hrs on the 10th of August. He laughed like a maniac.
“Your end is near, Nakamotos!” he cried.
Live from the Stiglitzs
Meanwhile, the Stiglitzs were facing a similar issue. Letters under the same name were conveying conflicting instructions.
To distinguish the truth, their leader Joseph Stiglitz turned to his beloved companion, mathematics. He whipped out a math textbook and started working on a problem.
“The answer is 16!” he exclaimed.
“We should attack at 1600hrs, on the 8th!”
Live from the Mungers
Charlie Munger stood upright, staring in the direction of the Nakamoto Fortress. He too had received conflicting letters, with no way to verify what was real and what wasn’t. This was perhaps his only chance to overthrow the growing Nakamoto Empire. Alas, he would not command his soldiers to set out for battle on mere whim.
Munger thrust his axe into the ground, creating a tremor across the bloodied battlefield.
“We will engage in no battle with the Nakamotos. Back to your tents!” he yelled.
1600hrs, 8 August: the Nakamotos wipe out the Stiglitizs, who’d ended up attacking alone
1000hrs, 10 August: the Nakamotos wipe out the Roubinis, who’d (spoiler) also ended up attacking alone
0800hrs, 11 August, at the Nakamoto Fortress
Hearty meals and refreshing drinks had come after our victories against the Roubinis and the Stiglitzs. We’d heard that the Mungers had retreated, leaving their allies to die. What a pity. It was only a matter of time before they fell, too.
“See Ram, they never had a chance. You know why?” asked Lawrence.
I shook my head.
“Because they couldn’t communicate with one another over long distances. They couldn’t figure out what was true and what wasn’t. Only we have mastered the art of doing that,” he said.
My face turned solemn.
“Had they gotten lucky and attacked simultaneously, however, we would’ve been slaughtered.” I promptly replied.
Lawrence laughed.
“You younglings have much to learn.
This isn’t just the Nakamoto Fortress.”
I frowned.
“Huh? Then what is it?”
“It’s Nakamoto Fortress ONE.”
Nakamoto Fortress TWO:
Nakamoto Fortress THREE-HUNDRED-AND-TWENTY-SEVEN:
Nakamoto Fortress FIFTEEN-THOUSAND-AND-THREE:
My eyes widened.
Lawrence continued:
“And should any one castle be wiped out — our friends at the other castles can reincarnate us. Instantly.”
I stopped my horse and got off, trying to make sense of what he’d just said. Reincarnation was real? We could never become extinct? What was going on?
Did our enemies even realize that we were just one of the thousands of Nakamoto fortresses that they’d need to take down?
I turned to Lawrence, still in awe.
“How is this possible?”
He laughed.
“Our enemies lost because they couldn’t communicate. They fell prey to the centuries-old Byzantine Generals’ Problem. The very same problem that WE solved over a decade ago.
How could we ever lose?”
If you know anyone else who likes stories and/or is trying to learn about Bitcoin, do consider sharing this with them. If you’d like to support my work, please consider subscribing for free!
You can also follow me on Twitter @ramwithouthorns!
Part Two to this piece — focused on theory and commentary — will be coming soon. Have a good week ahead.
(Edit: You can read PART 2 here.)
Image references:
https://wyr.com.ua/en/first-time-in-lviv.html
https://www.readersdigest.com.au/true-stories-lifestyle/thought-provoking/not-so-simple-math-problem-confusing-internet
https://www.pinterest.com/pin/734509020464256761/
https://coolhdwall.com/pc-wallpaper/4k-epic-battle-medieval-knight-army-wrdxy
https://in.pinterest.com/pin/507499451731463957/
https://wallhere.com/en/wallpaper/739047
https://www.iamag.co/painting-fantasy-castle-by-andrea-rocha/
https://www.pinterest.com/pin/563864815816741083/